The start of a new year usually comes with new goals or expectations for what you’d like to accomplish. As a novel writing junkie, my goals were to finish TWO of my works in progress. One of which being, FORSAKEN. A fantasy novel that I’ve been scribbling away for the last five years, only to redraft the entire thing! Another project being HERE AND THERE, a collection of short stories and flash fictions that I’ve labored off and on for a couple years (which is closer to be finished than yesterday!).
Needless to say, as we reach the crest of the year and time has withered away before our eyes, I can say with all honesty, I’ve completed neither of these projects. That’s not to say, however, that I haven’t made strides forward on both, it’s just not progress that meets my OVERLY LARGE EXPECTATIONS nor my established goals.
So In process of reflecting over the last few months, I’ve ditched my 2020 goals entirely and I think you should too. We’re under abnormal circumstances, meaning that things should be handled differently.
What does this all mean?
Goals are detrimental to actually completing tasks, at least I think so. If the goal is too big, then I like to break it down into even smaller chucks so I feel like the train is constantly moving down the tracks (even if it’s at a slow and steady pace). When we focus on the big picture, we tend to discourage ourselves from finishing.
With that all in mind, this year has affected each of us in different ways– negatively and positively. But I’m here to say : Throw away your 2020 goals and leave them in your rear view mirror!
Where do we go from here?
The saying, “keeping looking forward because the past has already happened” should be the mantra you’re living right now. Even if you write ten words a day, that’s still ten words more than yesterday. Being anxious about self appointed deadlines is worthless. You should value the progress forward a lot more than the end destination. 2020 goals are so outdated! Enjoy, live life, and happily write when you want!
What is our infatuation with living a perfect image in other people’s heads?
Why do we want people to look up to us?
What is it about impressing people, that we’d go bankrupt to do so?
Idea of impression
The idea that based on what we have, people will like us more is a lie. Unfortunately, It takes some serious life experience in order to understand that.
We live in a society that is built upon materialistic principles. We’re born to believe that the nicer things we have, naturally the more people will be interested in us.
I have fallen victim to this and it has followed me into all stages of my life. Whoever had the coolest car, nicest house, or the newest technology was always the most popular.
In order to combat this idea, we need to change our own perspective. We need to be comfortable with the idea that we won’t be liked by everyone and that’s okay. We need to save ourselves from financial strain by learning before it’s too late.
Buying a nice car to impress a male or female, wearing clothes or jewelry that we cannot afford, and being embarrassed by it, needs to stop.
No one ultimately will care what you own, and if you get in the mindset of one-upping others, you’ll go broke with debt and unhappiness.
Shifting your mind away from others can help you fix this mentality.
Perspective
So what’s the purpose of changing your perspective?
Being that everything has a price in society, the cost of material items can add up rather quickly.
Instead of looking at items in a way that puts us on a higher scale in society, we should look at each item for its practicality. Basically, will it serve a purpose that’s useful to me, or will it just be there for others to see?
If you answer yes to the last question, then you should walk away from that item.
Save yourself before you can barely keep your head above water.
Why?
We all want to feel important, useful, and/or followed by other people. Unfortunately, there isn’t a point where one will stop in order to achieve this. They will hunt at any cost.
We not only lose ourselves in the process of impressing others, but we often can overshadow our own self-worth. We will beat ourselves up because we can’t meet those demands, which in turn will damage us. We will overlook our own needs and desires so that someone else’s is met.
So, why do we try so hard to impress others?
It’s because our society has taught us to do so. The world thrives off of this idea. The big-name company makes millions of dollars and collection companies stay in business because we will often try to buy something we can’t afford using credit. (Which is a talk for another day.)
And what do you do about it now?
Take positive steps in other directions. Ones that do not include “those” groups of people. Make different friends.
Look to do something for yourself. Like achieving a personal goal.
Plan out decisions, rather than making ones at the moment.
Know when to say no, and understand that people won’t like it.
Achievement is a destination that we all wish to see.
We wish to achieve our goals and succeed in our dreams, but how do we get there?
The road to our dreams is not always an easy one. We get setback every time we take a step forward, but what if I was to tell you that’s normal?
The road to your dreams won’t always be paved with glory and riches. The road to your dreams has potholes, caution signs, and road washouts, but the destination will always be worth it.
One of these days you’ll look back and smile at the road behind you.
Let the world be your ocean, and your dreams be the ship you sail on.
Rejection is the first step to success
Rejection is inevitable.
You record your debut song, finish the first draft of your novel, or your finish the first cut of you film only to be pulled apart by vultures and rejected. Rejection is the worst feeling you can experience, especially when you put your art out there, but never allow rejection to hinder you.
Every great person in history has faced rejection or opposition. It’s only natural for someone to oppose your dreams.
Martin Luther King Jr faced opposition from those who believed segregation was lawful. His goal was for every man, regardless of color, to have equal rights, and he fought for that. He spent time in jail, and died for that dream. Now, I’m not saying you need to do the same. This is an extreme case but it’s one to recognize. If someone could achieve something so incredible, then why can’t you?
You can, and you need to convince every single person you know, that you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t. Fake it until you make it. You need to sell your dreams to others so that they buy into that vision.
The journey is just as important as the destination
You’ve probably heard a million times that, “the journey is just as important as the destination.” It’s a phrase that people say to set realistic expectations, fearing that the destination will be a letdown once reached.
As an avid hiking, I can empathize with that statement.
I’ve pictured many hikes in my head ending in perfect sunsets and stunning views, only to end in an anticlimactic way. It’s disheartening, but that’s life. Surprisingly, those anticlimactic hikes have always had the best journeys. Including the best conversations, the best occurrences, and the deepest meanings. When you weigh the positives of the journey, it greatly out weighs the negatives of the destination.
Regardless, welcome every minute you spend trying to achieve your goals as a friend. Smile at the whole picture. Remember that it always takes time to get where you’re going. It’s never an occurrence that happens overnight.
Welcome caution signs
People will try to warn you of the road ahead. They will go as far as to persuade you to turn back before it’s too late. They’ve tried to do the same things that you’re doing, and had no success doing it. So they believe it’s an impossible feat of man to accomplish.
Listening to caution signs can always be very helpful. They’re wise lessons to keep in our minds, but don’t let that halt your ship. When someone offers their stories of defeat, listen, and pass on. Anything can be achieved merely with a shift of perspective.
Perspective is everything, and having fresh set of eyes seeing a dream come to life is the best perspective you can have.
Never let the dream die
Never, never, never, ever let the dream die.
If something doesn’t work, try a different approach.
If you’re not reaching the audience you want, try a different tactic.
When things feel routine, change it up. Make sure things remain fresh.
And when you don’t believe you can, have someone around to encourage you otherwise.
If we all have one life to live, then we should really live the life we want to.
Alexander Richter 