Light waves reflect from the surface of my skin. I know where I am, but I don’t know where I’ve been. The rush of electricity feels foreign to my dismal way of thinking. Perhaps I am meant to be grounded. I twist the dial once more to my left. The picture changes. I see my variant laughing on the side of the highway looking for a ride east. He’s alone, but happier than I am now. The dial twists again. This time I am surrounded in tapestries of wool– a castle of old with a man of new. The grim taste of earth lines my lips and I am somewhat taken back to a time long before I existed. Both images petrify me. I hoped things would be different, but– in some way beyond my comprehension, they are just the way they’re meant to be. I cannot change what is down the road from me, no matter how many times I turn the dial, my path is set in concrete.
Tag: minimalism
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What is our infatuation with living a perfect image in other people’s heads?
Why do we want people to look up to us?
What is it about impressing people, that we’d go bankrupt to do so?
Idea of impression
The idea that based on what we have, people will like us more is a lie. Unfortunately, It takes some serious life experience in order to understand that.
We live in a society that is built upon materialistic principles. We’re born to believe that the nicer things we have, naturally the more people will be interested in us.
I have fallen victim to this and it has followed me into all stages of my life. Whoever had the coolest car, nicest house, or the newest technology was always the most popular.
In order to combat this idea, we need to change our own perspective. We need to be comfortable with the idea that we won’t be liked by everyone and that’s okay. We need to save ourselves from financial strain by learning before it’s too late.
Buying a nice car to impress a male or female, wearing clothes or jewelry that we cannot afford, and being embarrassed by it, needs to stop.
No one ultimately will care what you own, and if you get in the mindset of one-upping others, you’ll go broke with debt and unhappiness.
Shifting your mind away from others can help you fix this mentality.
Perspective
So what’s the purpose of changing your perspective?
Being that everything has a price in society, the cost of material items can add up rather quickly.
Instead of looking at items in a way that puts us on a higher scale in society, we should look at each item for its practicality. Basically, will it serve a purpose that’s useful to me, or will it just be there for others to see?
If you answer yes to the last question, then you should walk away from that item.
Save yourself before you can barely keep your head above water.
Why?
We all want to feel important, useful, and/or followed by other people. Unfortunately, there isn’t a point where one will stop in order to achieve this. They will hunt at any cost.
We not only lose ourselves in the process of impressing others, but we often can overshadow our own self-worth. We will beat ourselves up because we can’t meet those demands, which in turn will damage us. We will overlook our own needs and desires so that someone else’s is met.
So, why do we try so hard to impress others?
It’s because our society has taught us to do so. The world thrives off of this idea. The big-name company makes millions of dollars and collection companies stay in business because we will often try to buy something we can’t afford using credit. (Which is a talk for another day.)
And what do you do about it now?
- Take positive steps in other directions. Ones that do not include “those” groups of people. Make different friends.
- Look to do something for yourself. Like achieving a personal goal.
- Plan out decisions, rather than making ones at the moment.
- Know when to say no, and understand that people won’t like it.
- Ultimately, do what’s best for you.
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People will argue that not everyone deserves to be happy, but I would disagree. Everyone deserves happiness at some point in their life, if not all throughout. Happiness is such an important concept for individuals to achieve because ultimately that is the human goal: to achieve our desires, to have the ones around us to share those successes with, and to be able to worry less and live more.
What are the basic qualifications one must do to meet this goal?
First, we need to understand what happiness is and know that it does not have a uniform meaning or message. It won’t be the same for everyone.
Happiness is the feeling of warmth around one’s heart and the enjoyment of constantly knowing that they’re doing the best that they can.
Happiness is different for each person and there is no universal definition as to what brings us the feeling. There are several things that make me happy but only a few that top them all. They include exploring with the ones I love, creating memories with my family, and finding a good inner relationship with myself. These things make me feel complete and provide me with peace.
Now more people than just myself could agree that those things make them happy as well, but do they have to meet those requirements to be happy? No, those are just things that bring my individual happiness. As a person needs to find what those are for themselves. No one has the ability, with confidence, to tell another what to do to make them happy. (I dare not try).
How through suffering we can find a deeper meaning
Through out life we are hit with events that stray us from the path of happiness. These events persuade us to think that it is truly impossible to be happy. Events as stated could be the loss of a loved one, losing your great job because the economy tanked, or getting into an accident that leaves you needing to take care of yourself medically. You can agree that these events are forms of suffering and misfortune.
Suffering, like happiness, is a point of view. We can look at terrible events and learn from them in a healthy way or we can simply do nothing. Understanding why things happen will ultimately change our lives forever, because you’ll never find that answer. There won’t be an explanation.
When a parent loses a child, that parent believes that all is lost. And although I believe no parent should have to bury their child, our world is cruel and wicked. The parent of a lost child will suffer but ultimately they will need to decide what to do next. They can forever put themselves in misery about what happened or they can make their child’s life meaningful.
My father passed away with cancer, and I ask myself often why he deserved that diagnosis. He, himself, asked that same question but there was never an adequate explanation, even from his doctors. As of lately, my happiness has dramatically dropped. I feel gutted on the inside. And what little feeling I have left inside me, is pain. It’s easier to let that pain consume me, but I know, now, in my heart that my father would have never wanted me to live a life of misery over this. Instead, he would have wanted me to enjoy life, smile, inside and out, and honor my wife and family. As hard as it is without him, and truly it is hard, I know that he will always be with me on the inside. And I find happiness in that thought.
Everyone deserves to be happy, but deciding what kind of happiness we want is the real question. We can search for a truer sense of happiness that lies in much more complicated things.
When you understand that happiness is a fluid, ever-changing and diverse concept, which applies to everyone in unique ways, you will gain the best piece of evidence to show yourself that you’re onto something special.
Enough of that.
Cheers,
Alexander
Alexander Richter 